Lydia Tár

I. The monster’s artist statement

You can intellectually contemplate
Masterbate
The felicity of the so-called
Atonal
What are you conducting?
What is the effect?
What is art actually doing to me?

My prayer
Be spared
Embarrassment 
Sell a car without an engine
Now, my friends,
Now is the time to conduct music that actually requires
something from you

It’s your choice
A soul
selects her own society
Remember the flip-side 
Close the valves of one’s
attention

Siloing what’s acceptable
Imperial right
Curate for the cretins

Can art
By a bunch of straight, Austro-German, church-going white guys
Exalt us individually, collectively
Who gets to decide that?

What about Beethoven
Are you into him 
Because for meee 
As a U-Haul Lesbian 
I’m not really sure about ol’ Ludwig
But then I face him
find myself nose-to-nose with his
magnitude and inevitability

II. The monster hates in others what they hate about themselves

Please Maestro
Please forgive me

For what?
Your obsequiousness
Your hypocrisy
Your misogamy

I am not a misogynist

Mis-og-amy
A hatred of marriage

III. The monster steps toward the affair

Get a friendly peck
A big goofy wave
Wave back this time
Disappears into building recess

Cross the street
Enter the building
Met by sounds
Notes echoing as casual
As bird song
Follow the sound
Into open courtyard
Littered with stained mattresses
Rusted wheelbarrow
Other detritus
Windows boarded up
Covered with tags

Doppler effect
Impossible to peg
Direction of voice

Turn to see the path out, light
Or the path down, dark

Descend
A staircase
Find yourself in a long corridor
Floor pooling with water

Move forward
Peer into
Abandoned squatter-like rooms
Singing disappears
Hear dripping fluid

Continue moving
Toward the other end

Sound of an animal skittering
Turn around
Empty
Sound again
Turn
Nothing

Want to get out
Hear it again
Black German Shepherd stares
Back away
Slowly
Then run

Outside stairway
Bounding two at a time
Toe catches
Face plant
Sound of breaking
Cartilage

IV. The monster has no intent

Good morning
Before we begin
Let’s talk about 
Composer’s intent
And what she might be
After